CHULBULE CHUTKULE: MARRIAGE

Showing posts with label MARRIAGE. Show all posts

Serve Hot

Pappu ki Biwi came without any clothes in the drawing room
to serve Halwa to the guests.

Papu screamed: Beshram aurat, tu hosh mein to hai?

Wife: Woh jee recipe book mein aisa hi likha tha na "Serve Hot without any dressing, guests will enjoy."

DUAL SIM

Jaise Tujhe Theek Lage!

Wife to her husband: I love you!
I can't live without you!
Mar Jaungi!
Mit Jaungi!
Jehar Pee Lungi!
Tere Pyaar Mein Fanna Ho Jaungi!
Husband: Dekh Le Jaise Tujhe Theek Lage!

Parlour

Man: Aap Kya Karti Ho?

Lady: Dulhan Taiyaar Karti Hu, Parlour Hai Mera.. Aur Aap?

Man: Mein Dulhe Taiyaar Karta Hu

Lady: Acha, Parlour Hai Aapka?

Man: Nahin, Guptrog Ka Hakim Hu..!

"Try Your Best Luck"

Husband : Yaar, Main Koi Bhi Kaam Karta Hu,
To Meri Biwi bich me Aa Jati Hai
Friend : Yaar,
Tu Truck Chalaa Kar Dekh,
Shaayad Kismat Saath De De...!
"Try Your Best Luck"

Shaadi ka gift

Santa ko Shaadi me 100 condoms ka gift pack mila.
Suhagrat me biwi ne aawaz lagai-"AB JALDI KARO JI"

Santa -Bas 2 minute 97 chada liye hai, sirf 3 Baaki hai.

behan ka pati....

Biwi apne sharabi pati ko sudharne ke liye raat ko kale kapde pahan kar ghar ke bahar khadi ho gayi.....
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Pati- kon ho tum.......?
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Biwi- Chudel....!!
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Pati- Hath milaaa fir.... Mai Teri behan ka pati....

Shaadi ke 2 saal baad

Shaadi ke 2 saal baad ek yuvati roti-roti apne maayke aaii
aur apni maa se boli – “mai us aadmi ke saath ab nahi rah sakti,
wah to har waqt nashe me rahta hai !”
Maa ne hairaani se kahaa – “yeh baat tu mujhe ab bataa rahi hai, shaadi ke 2 saal baad ?”
Yuvati – “ab tak mujhe bhi kahaan maaloom thaa ?
woh to kal wah bina piye ghar aa gaya, tab pataa chala …

Gift...

Mom to Children: Jo meri baat maanega aur
muze ulta jawab nahi dega,
usko main Gift dungi..
Children: Lo kar lo baat is tarah to..
saare gift Papa hi le jaayenge!!

Santa ki Shadi..

Santa kee nai-nai shaadi hui thee phir bhi use ghar jaane ki koi jaldi nahi hoti. Woh der tak office mein hee baitha rahta.

One day Boss asked – “wife se jhagda chal rahaa hai kya ?”

Santa replied – “no no sir … aisee koi baat nahi !

baat ye hai ki meri wife bhi job karti hai

isliye hum dono mein jo bhi pahle ghar pahunchta hai,

khana use hi banaanaa padta hai !”

typewriter

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it.

They decided on the word "typewriter".

One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".

The child told her mother what her dad said and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now because there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."

The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.

A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."

The child told her father, who returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand

Marrying

Girl: If we got married, stop smoking.
Boy: Ok!
Girl: Drinking too.
Boy: Ok!
Girl: N going to the night club too.
Boy:- Yes..
Girl:- What else can u leave??
Boy:- The idea of marrying You

LOVE STORY OF DOCTOR

LOVE STORY OF DOCTOR

I was in 12th heart emoticon
She was in 12th
I love her - she love me heart emoticon
I got MBBS
She got BBA

I was doing MBBS
She got MBA

I was preparing 4 MD entrance
She got married

I m doing MD
She's d mother of 2 children unsure emoticon

I got PH.D
Her daughter is in 1st stndrd,

I became DOCTRATE
Her daughtr passd 10th,

I have joined job.
Hr Daughtr joined College.

The Greatest irony-
Today is my ENGAGEMENT
& Her daughtr is my WIFE
.
Agle Janam Sala Commerce hi Lunga

ENJOY SHAYRI

Wait for Wife...

Touching words by a Father!

Dear Son,
If you think your Dad, Mom & Teacher are Strict

and unnecessarily harassing you...

Wait for your wife

GENERATION GAP

What is "GENERATION GAP"?

1945 ........ Beta! Kal tumhari Shadi hai
1955 ........ Beta! Shadi ke liye Ladki ham dhundenge
1965 ........ Beta! Apne caste ki ladki se hi shaadi karna
1975 ........ Beta! Apne religion ki ladki se hi shaadi karna
1985 ........ Beta! Apne haisiyat ki ladki se hi shaadi karna
1995 ........ Beta! Apne desh ki ladki se hi shaadi karna
2005 ......... Beta! Apni umar ki ladki se hi shaadi karna
2015........ Beta..!! shaadi LADKI se hi karna..!!.......