Showing posts with label Gujrati. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gujrati. Show all posts

Mobile

Once 4 Gujju wives met at a party talking about their husbands new cell  Phones....
First Gujju wife says to others... "Maro pati ne pass mota laura (Motorola) che!....
Second gujju wife replies... "Aree sirf mota laura thi kya hoga?
errection (ERICSSON) chahiye!....
So the third Gujju wife step up & says... "aree mota laura bhi thick
hai, errection bhi thick hai, Par semen (Siemens) nahi to kya fayda?...
And then the fourth said... "Mota laura bhi ho, errecson bhi ho, semen bhi ho, lekin na kiya (Nokia) tho kya fayda??....




Kunwara Lago CHo

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See more blogs :
Lord Ganesha 
Funny Things 
Indian God Wallpaper
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What Happened ?

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See more blogs :
Lord Ganesha 
Funny Things 
Indian God Wallpaper
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Gujju Ben

Gujrati is a great language..

Ek cute slim lady ne koi e puchyu ke tamari fitness nu rahasya su che?

Lady:
'HU BAHU CHALU CHU..'

Have saalu aapde su samajvu ? =))




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See more blogs :
Lord Ganesha 
Funny Things 
Indian God Wallpaper
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Gujju Bhai

Ekdum superb chhe!

TRUE and Unmistakable characteristics of a true Gujarati:

01. Every autowala, taxiwala, grocerywala is 'Kaka'.

02. gujju never go to Office, they go to Hoffis!

03. The first rule of money - never use your own!

04. "Su nava juni" is version of 'wassup'?

05. Be it 7am in the morning or past midnite, gathiyas are always welcome.

06. they keep an "ELARAM" to wake up in the morning.

07. No party is over without a round of GARBA.

08. the call all types of noodles "Meggi"!

09. When someone asks about a person, Gujju say GENTLEMAN MANAS Chhey.

10. they have a PhD in bargaining, by birth.

11. they can speak any language of the world, in Gujarati!

12. gujju don't have feelings, they have FILLINGS!

13. Jai Shri Krishna = Hello and Good Bye.

14. All their conversations begin with kem chhe, maja ma ne, and end with: "koi saaru investment batavo ne..."

15. Gujju shout our guts out on international calls, thinking they can hear them better that way.

16. Swimming is not for them- they call it 'chhab-chhabia'.

17. For them Electricity never goes - only, Light does!

18. gujju don't call people, they COAL them.

19. Sensex interests .more than anything

20. Chhas is their Beer!

21. they are everywhere, all over the globe - deal with it...

22. Gujju go to movie HOLE and take outside SNAKES for refreshments.

23. Mount Abu is Switzerland.

24. If a Gujju starts Koffee with Karan, he would name it "Chhas with Chhagan".

25. A true Gujju looks forward to eat Thai, Mexican, Italian, Chinese and Undhiyu at the cousin's wedding...

26. At least 50% of the contacts in the phone book end with the word BHAI.

27. Being Punjabi means more chapati, less rice; being Mallu means less chapati, more rice. Being Gujju - just eat more yaar, 'shu farak pade chhe?'.

28. Gujjus believe Narendra Modi is the solution for everything - from Fashion style to Nation's progress.

29. Vile Parle and New Jersey feels like home - Apduj chhe...

30. they will spend 1000 rupees for a 10 rupee free gift, free ma malle, etle maja aavi jai...

31. they eat home made theplas with chhundo and athanu on business class flight.

32. gujju can do Garba on any song in the world.

33. Falguni Pathak is Britney Spears for them.

34. After having chaat, bhelpuri, sevpuri, gujju make sure they ask for extra puri and then a discount.

35. Order soup 1 by 2, U get more quantity - be smart!

36. If it is beeg (big), edible and free, go on dude, eat it...

37. Mumbai+Gujarat+London+Amerika = whole world. Nothing else exists for them.

38. Everyone is invited to a Gujju home for lunch, and fed like u have come from the groom's side.

39. If all of a sudden U hear a dhoom machale ringtone or a loud scream or a loud chit chat amongst a group, immediately assume that you are amidst Gujjus.

40. Hindi humko 'jara bi nahi faata hai'.

41. Age 15 or 50, your parents will always refer to u as their 'baby' or 'babo'.

42. CAdBURY is the generic name for chocolate!

43. gujju take the constitution very seriously, everyone is called Bhai and Ben.

44. If U do not go for Navratri, U didn’t exist.

45. all own Reliance collectively...

46. Dandiya is their Prom.

47. U pack according to a 5N/6D holiday when going for a one day picnic.

48. Time spent at a party - Dancing(10min)
Chitchat(10min) Dinner (100min)

49.. Gujju get Tired after walk of 15 mins and play nonstop dandia for 5 hours 

Dedicated to all gujjus



Gujarat express

Next movie: Gujarat express
Song: Dandiya rass
Mucho ko thoda round gumake,
Rabari jesa dress pehenke,
Chass main thodi lassi milake,
All the falguni fans
A halo
Dont miss the train
A halo
Dandiya rass, dandiya rass, dandiya
rass, dandiya rass.......
Jab bhi falguni ka gharba bajega
In the maidan tumko aanapadega,
Dandiya ko gumana padega,
Dandiya rass, dandiya rass, dandiya
rass, dandiya rass,:p 

What is ur name ?

Gujju man: Hey! Wht's ur name?
.
Lady: Diana Penty. And u?
.
Gujju: Jignesh Jaangiyo....!!!

*Blocked*

Accountant

Three accountants were in the bathroom, standing at the urinals.

The first accountant finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands.
He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully.
He used 3 paper towels and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried.
Turning to the other two accountants, he said, "At Ernst and Young, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second accountant finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands.
He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.
He turned and said, "At KPMG, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third accountant finished, pulled up his zipper and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder,
"At Patel & Shah, we don't piss on our hands."

BENZ

Gujju Patel was living next to a British in London. Once they had n argument..
"who leads a better life"

British: we have a big house & I have Benz!

Gujju: I have 8 Benz!

British (confused): Really..? But I never saw u riding any

Gujju: I have 3 in Amdavad - Maniben, Ramilaben and Kokilaben, 2 in Rajkot - Jasuben & Nainaben, 2 live in London itself - Dayaben & Karunaben. Total 7 Bens.
And this is my wife - Seemaben!
She is the one I ride.. But I'm not going to show you that..! We are from well cultured family

Gujju English Love Letter

Gujju english love letter:
Mari deer Pusspa ben,
U r que tea, luv lee, sack sea, on nest, a tract thief, cheer fool, soup pub & u r very press yes..
Tharo lower,
Come less bhai !!!!!!!!

Yaha Rape Hota hain kya ?

A Gujarati girl goes to a shopkeeper n asks: Bhaiya aapke yahan rape hota hai kya?
Shopkeeper(shocked) : madam aage ki dukaan mein pooch lijiye yahan nahi hota
The girl returns after sometime : bhaiya wo to bol rahe hai yahi hota hai. Pls kar dijiye na, bahut der ho rahi hai . Shopkeeper(embarassed) : madam aage dekh lijiye.
Girl: taking out a gift to be wrapped... bhaiya itna sa to hai, pls kar dijiye na Shopkeeper(blushing) : arre madam aisa boliye na wrap karna hai... Girl: wahi to bola ...rape karna hai...