Engineer

3 log Marne ke baad Swarg ke Darwaje par pahuche...
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1st bola - Me Pujari hu maine aapki Zindagi Bhar sewa ki mujhe andar aane do... 
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God - Next... :-|
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2nd - Me Doctor Hu... Maine Zindagi bhar Logo ki sewa ki mujhe andar aane do...
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God - Next... :-|
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3rd - Mein Engineer hun.
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God - Bas kar Pagle Rulayega kya, tune sari Zindagi narak me Guzari hai, chal andar aaja!

Virus

One day God erased a husband's memory

& asked :

Do u remember any 1 now ?

He told his wife's name,
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God smiled and said :-
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Format karke bhi virus nahin nikla...  

Wives

A Man Asked God:
Why U Made Girls 
So Sweet
&
Wives 
So Horrible ??
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God Replied:
"Its Because
Girls Are Made By Me
&
Wives Are Made By You !!!"   

pappu bhagwan aur sher

Ek baar pappu k saamne sher aa gaya…

usne upar dekhte huye kaha:
“bhagwan, main to mar gaya”

Us din bhagwaan ji bhi mast mood mein the,

Upar se awaaz aayi:
“ek patthar utha, aur sher k sarpe maar de”,

Pappu ne patthar uthaya aur sher ke sar per maar diya,

Phir upar se awaaz aayi :
“Beta, mara to tu ab hai” 

Its Performance

A Priest dies & is waiting in line at heavens gate.

Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God to the guy : Who r u ?

Guy : I am a rickshaw driver from Pune.

God : Take this gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.

God to the Priest : Who r u ?

Priest : I am a priest & spent 40yrs preaching good to people.

God : Take this cotton robe and enter heaven.

Priest : God, how come that foul mouthed, rash driver gets a gold & I spent all my life preaching good get cotton.

God : Results, my son, results.

While you preached, people slept, when he drove, people really prayed...

“Its Performance, not Position that Counts !!”

BANTA VS GOD

Banta talking to God :

O Wahe Guru…. U Gave Me Infancy, Took it Away. U Gave Me Childhood, Took It Away. U Gave Me Youth, Took It Away. U Gave Me A Wife - Just Reminding You...

Engineer

3 log Marne ke baad Swarg ke
Darwaje par pahuche...

1st bola - Me Pujari hu maine aapki Zindagi Bhar sewa ki mujhe andar aane do...

God - Next...

2nd - Me Doctor Hu... Maine Zindagi bhar Logo ki sewa ki mujhe andar aane do...

God - Next...

3rd - Mein Engineer hun....

God - Bas kar Pagle Rulayega kya, tune sari Zindagi narak me Guzari hai, chal andar aaja...  

Over Acting

A Girl died & went to Heaven...
God was shocked 2 see her heart still beating..!!
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God asked, "How come your heart is still beating"..????

Girl replied, "I'm dead but my lover is still living in my heart"...
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The Girl was sent to Hell for Over-acting...  

School Canteen,

In A Nursery School Canteen,
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There Was A Basket Of Apples With A
Notice
Written Over It: ''Do Not Take More
Than One,
God Is Watching''
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On The Other Counter There Was A Box
Of
Chocolates,
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A Small Child Went & Wrote On It
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"Take As Many As You Want, God Is
Busy
Watching The Apples".. 

jannat

God: "beta, koi mannat maango..??"
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Student: "Plz Mujhe Meri School
Life Lauta Do..."
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God: "Beta, Maine Tumhe mannat
Mangne Ko Kaha"JANNAT"Nahi.. "
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school days r awesome so enjoy it...;-)

Super POGO joke

Super POGO joke
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Yamraaj: Bacha Tu
ne paap
aur punya dono kiya
hai.
Isi liye tujhe Swarg
mein
Narak milega!
..
Aadmi: Woh kaise?
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Yamraaj: Roj raat, do
glass
daaru, aur ek apsara
milenge!
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Aadmi: Ye to Swarg
hi Swarg
hain!
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Yamraaj: Glass mein
"hole"
hoga, aur apsara
mein nahin.. :o :P :D ;)

Bhagwan tune kya kiya

Bhagwan Ko Gussa Kab Aata Hai...
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Jab Koi Ladki Shaadi Se Pehle Pregnant Ho Jaye..
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Aur Uski Maa Kahe..

Hey Bhagwan Ye Tune Kya Kiya

ωσмєη ωιll вє ωσмєη... .

ωσмєη ωιll вє ωσмєη...
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A 54 year old woman had a heart attack & was taken 2 the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up ?"

God said, "No, you have another 34 years 2 live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided 2 stay in the hospital
& have a face-lift, liposuction, & tummy tuck. She even changed her hair color

Finally she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the road on her way home, she was killed by a truck.

Arriving in front of God, she asked,

"You said I had another 34 years 2 live.
Why didn't you save me from the truck?"

(You'll love this)
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God replied:
"I couldn't recognize u"

Boy to God after result

Boy to God after result ..

"Hazaro ki kismat tere haath me thi
agar pass kar deta to kya baat thi..
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God to Boy: "Ishq thoda kam ladata to kya baat thi...

kitabein to sari tere pass thi... :O :P