Showing posts with label Family Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Jokes. Show all posts
प्लीज ऐसे पोस्ट मत डाला कीजिये

कि

रिक्शा वाले की लड़की सिल्वर मेडल लाई...

रिक्शा वाले का बेटा IAS बना..

रिक्शा वाले की बेटी के 99 परसेंट आये...

खबरें पढ़ पढ़ के बच्चे जिद कर रहे हैं  ,, पापा आप भी रिक्शा चलाया करो.......😢😲😯


Khandan..

Teacher:Tum Kis Khandan Se Ho ?
.
Ladka:Janwaro Ke.
.
Teacher:Kyu?
Ladka:Papa Mujhe Ullu Ka Patha,
Mammi Mujhe Gadha,
Dada Ji Sher Ka Beta Or
Dadi Bandar Kehti Hai




Dada - Pota

DADAJI :- Beta jaa pani le aa,
.
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1st Pota : Main nhi jaa skta game khel raha hu, grin emoticon
.
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2nd pota : Rehne do DADA JI ye toh  hai hi Battamiz, :|
.
.
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Aap khud hi jaa kar le aao or mere liye bhi le ana 



baatcheet bandh...

Husband aur wife mein baatcheet bandh thi.. 🙊
subah husband ko jaldi jaana tha.. 💑
usne raat ko paper par likha,
"mujhe subah 5 baje utha dena.. urgent kaam hai..!!!" 
aur paper wife ke takiye ke paas rakh diya.. 😯
.
.
.
Subah 8 baje jab utha to dekha uske upar bahut saare paper pade the aur sab par likha tha,
"uth jao 5 baj gaye",
"pls. uth jao,
warna late ho jaaoge" 😂
Moral- wife se panga loge to yahi haal hoga.. 



Repay

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burnt.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The Doctor and wife promised to the man that they would tell no one about where the skin came from. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his baby face!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.
He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."


Dahej

Dad:BETA Sasuralwale Ghadi De To Suit Mang Lena!
.
.

Scooter de to CAR,Dukan De To Makan Mang lena.

.
.

Beta-agar LADKI De To Uski Maa Manglu? 




Philosophy

School:" A place where papa pays & son plays
.
.
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Life insurance:"
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that
you can die rich ;-))
.
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Marriage:" its an agreement in which a man looses
his bachelors degree and a women gains her masters;-))
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Dictionary:" A place where success comes before work:))
.
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Smile:" A curve dat can set alot of
things straight :))
..
Doctor:" A person who kills Yours Ills by pills, n kills U by bills... 



BRO AND SIS

In Every Love Story Sister Support Brother
.
.
But
.
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Brother Never Support Sister.
You Know Why ?
.
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Because Sister Know What Love
Is
.
.
And
.
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Brother Knows What Boys Are... 




Blackberry or an Apple.

Finally, 
I told my parents that :-

i want a Blackberry or an Apple.
.
.
.
.
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My Mother said:
“Ghar mein Mosambi rakhi hai, pehle woh khaa”   



FB Ki Problem

Fb me har ladke ki problem...
.
.
Gharwaalo ko lagta hai k kahi humara ladka Love
marriage na kar le... .
.
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.
.
.
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.
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Par unhe kya pata yaha to Ladkiyan ADD bhi nahi karti...
..
Love marriage to door ki baat hai...


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See more blogs :
Lord Ganesha 
Funny Things 
Indian God Wallpaper
*********************************************************************************

Jawani Ke Din

Ek Dada Dadi Ne Jawani K
.
Dino Ko Yaad Karne Ka Faisla
Kiya...
.
Agle Din Dada Phool Le Kar Wahi Pahucha Jaha Wo
Jawani Me Mila Karte The,
.
Waha Khade-2 Dada K Pairo
Me Dard Ho Gaya Lekin Dadi
Nahi Aayi...
.
Ghar Ja Kar Dada Gusse Se:
"Aayi Kyo Nahi...???"
.
Daadi Sharmate Hue: "Mummy Ne Aane Hi Nahi Diya... 



Driver Santa

Car Me Santa Family Ja Rahi Thi-
Police Ne Car Ko Roka Aur Bola-
Ye Suraksha Week Hai-Aap Belt Pehan Kar Car Chala Rahe Ho-Isliye Aapko 5000 Ka Inaam Diya Jata Hai...
Aap Is Inaam Ka Kya Karoge ???💸
Santa - Main Isse Apna Driving Licence Banwaunga.!
Tabhi Uski Maa Boli - Iski Baat Ka Yakin Mat Karo-Daru Pikar Kuchh Bhi Bolta Hai-
Uske Papa Neend Se Jage Aur Police Ko Dekh Ke Bole-Mujhe Pata Tha Ki Chori Ki Car Mein Hum Zyada Door Nahi Ja Payenge...!!


*********************************************************************************
See more blogs :
Lord Ganesha 
Funny Things 
Indian God Wallpaper
*********************************************************************************

Panch

Pintu: Daadi neend nahi aa rahi.
Hum baate kare.
Daadi: thik he.

Pintu : Daadi kya hum hamesha 5 hi rahenge?
Aap, Mom, Dad,Main aur Behen.

Daadi : Nahi beta aapki shaadi ho jayegi toh 6 ho jayenge.

Pintu : Fir behen chali jayegi shaadi karke toh fir 5 ho jayenge.

Daadi : Beta fir aapka beta ho jayega toh 6 ho jayenge.

Pintu : Fir aap mar jaaogi toh hum wapas se 5 ho jayenge.

Daadi : Kaminne, kutte haramkhor Soja chup chap



MOM

Stuff you ask your Mom 

Mum where's my towel
Mum what do we eat for dinner
Mum what time is it
Mum where's my phone
Mum when do you come back
Mum what day is it

Stuff you ask your dad:

Dad where is mum 



Khana

Pappu ki saas uske ghar aayi thin ,
Raat ko dinner krte hue
Pappu apni patni se - aaj khana
tumhari maa ne bnaya hai na?
Patni (khush ho kar) - ha boht
achha bna hain na ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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Pappu - aisa kuchh nhi ,
roz khane me kale baal milte the ,
aaj safed baal mil rahe hain !! !  

KIDS

In a way
I feel sorry for the kids of next
generation
.
.
. . .
.
.
.
.
. . .
.
.
.
. They'll have parents
Who know how to check "Last call duration",
"Sent msgs" ,
And "browser history"   :

Maa Aayi Hain....

Husband- Sunti ho, meri maa aayi hai..

Wife- Ye bhi na jab dekho yahin aa jaati hai... Ab kya kaam hai?

Husband- Are 2kg pyaaj bhi layi hai..

Wife- Aap bhi na... pehle nahi bolna tha maa aayi hain... Kabhi kabhi to pyaar aur ashirwaad naseeb hota hai badon ka.. 

Story with Moral

Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?'

''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens,' said the Horrified Teacher.
'What did your Daddy Tell You was the Moral to this Horrible story ?

"Stay Away from Mommy When She's Drunk !!!

Exam Result

Birthday Koi Wish Nahi Karta,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Par
Result Ke
Time Pe Dada Ki Mausi Ki
Beti Ke
Husband Ki Behan Ka
Phone Aa
Jata Hai.!!! 

Love Marrige

Beta:" Mom, Love marriage karne se ghar wale naaraz hote hain kya..??

Maa:" Tu zaroor kisi chudail ke chakar main hoga, aur ye sub tujhe usi daayan ne kaha hoga..
.
.
Ladkiyan to bas ladkon ko fasaney main hi lagi rehti hain..

Jahan Accha Ladka dekha shuru ho gayi..

Beta in se bach ke rehna ye bohat makkar aur KAMEENI hoti hain, aur inka to khandan bhi…"

Beta:" Bas maa, aisa kuch nahi hai, Wo to Daddy bata rahe the ki
.
.
.
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Aap Dono ki Love Marriage hui thi..